tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31364848378802541352024-03-04T23:00:46.831-08:00In the Writing RoomOne doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. –Andre Gideflossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-40913734199724773082011-02-07T10:46:00.000-08:002011-02-07T13:46:50.103-08:00Finis<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivV7xbufJ3s15SJcFETHHWYMaTXl9xU2Cisuue7_rYRdOWhCEB60bSrA8n8bswM1VlUmY47WjI4z782EF5NrYqqpikPowjDqycTZ4CAqOZeCegu1oR9NOo0LV0Z-1dBolX2cd1viQ8JNA/s1600/photo%25286%2529.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivV7xbufJ3s15SJcFETHHWYMaTXl9xU2Cisuue7_rYRdOWhCEB60bSrA8n8bswM1VlUmY47WjI4z782EF5NrYqqpikPowjDqycTZ4CAqOZeCegu1oR9NOo0LV0Z-1dBolX2cd1viQ8JNA/s400/photo%25286%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5571022684410638594" border="0" /></a><p>Last week I cleaned out the library study carrel with its dim north-facing window overlooking an uninspired set of campus buildings and returned the key to the professor who had kindly loaned it to me for more years than he probably expected. I guess I should shutter this little blog-space too, but I'm reluctant to because I don't want it to foretell a life outside the "writing room"; that is, a life without writing. I hope that I can continue to include writing in my life, just in a less angsty way. Unfortunately, this dissertation started to feel like it wasn't part of my real life, that it was something I needed to get through in order to start my real life. And then it started to feel like a dead end. It didn't help that I had decided that being an English professor wasn't the best fit for me for a multitude of reasons. Was it all for nothing, then? "You'll always be a PhD," someone I barely knew told me once, of her own non-academic trajectory. "No one can take that away from you."
</p>
<p>So in hopes of a more integrated life, from now on I'll add content—writing-related or otherwise—at my everything-except-the-dissertation blog, <a href="http://flossieathome.blogspot.com/">Flossie at Home</a>. There will be other writing rooms, I hope—but just with more of a view than this one.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-65543835199458730362011-01-15T14:24:00.000-08:002011-01-15T14:55:11.635-08:00Graduated<p>Sorry to leave y'all hanging as to whether I ever got those dissertation revisions turned in. As I was in the midst of doing them, a new project appeared in my life, a little earlier than expected. But luckily, I was able to do a rush job on the revisions, make the final deposit deadline, and even walk in graduation. It's a good thing, too, because this new project promises to be quite time-consuming.
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0fBrTVcF2FzaDUEY34yHE2LC_0T2JH2IBHalhsRDK_b38P1DM-AlsUPkJ0sxhVFe7eg3TP-Vy_4fEoPRT7THXS_ksxaO4QaGwL5R6ZZeso_-WGuAcZknD_h7HRG9029Rb6gjsdAFm1UA/s1600/P1030142.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0fBrTVcF2FzaDUEY34yHE2LC_0T2JH2IBHalhsRDK_b38P1DM-AlsUPkJ0sxhVFe7eg3TP-Vy_4fEoPRT7THXS_ksxaO4QaGwL5R6ZZeso_-WGuAcZknD_h7HRG9029Rb6gjsdAFm1UA/s400/P1030142.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5562546774437120914" border="0" /></a>What becomes of the writing room? I hope to be in it again sometime, though not literally in the library study carrel, which I wish I could ritualistically burn down. Instead I started cleaning it out, returning all the books I had checked out for my dissertation.
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEh1j_mSMJBZmqQQ3nt0qR3XMvQJjqM_TrU-yIK-jaDetEVoMGsR9YXTy5oYRoNz_EYaycDtYmrqOST0ii_-gxEWqkzFYdwKP33DvAXSr2ggFFabhwgnlDE6cO6x7gGMFSYoIExWtKA-w/s1600/photo%25286%2529.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEh1j_mSMJBZmqQQ3nt0qR3XMvQJjqM_TrU-yIK-jaDetEVoMGsR9YXTy5oYRoNz_EYaycDtYmrqOST0ii_-gxEWqkzFYdwKP33DvAXSr2ggFFabhwgnlDE6cO6x7gGMFSYoIExWtKA-w/s400/photo%25286%2529.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5562547792867524034" border="0" /></a>That felt good.flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-84551668738430106522010-11-26T09:51:00.000-08:002010-11-26T10:11:53.783-08:00Defended<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLynhbW0JUpN_AptSWQaQ9DUsl3sKe-4AzyCpe05eD61IzVS-BV5W5zzmKe2zTomhKwRm-br7G0gXYplBt3wAZuxSx8UDRThvg6o5L3xVTOEPrF04RPgcu7c1eXXIblktj2uYbN6KiTW4/s1600/P1020705.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLynhbW0JUpN_AptSWQaQ9DUsl3sKe-4AzyCpe05eD61IzVS-BV5W5zzmKe2zTomhKwRm-br7G0gXYplBt3wAZuxSx8UDRThvg6o5L3xVTOEPrF04RPgcu7c1eXXIblktj2uYbN6KiTW4/s400/P1020705.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543917737192728578" border="0" /></a><p>I had my defense last Friday. I was extremely nervous and prepared lots of notes, but I ended up barely looking at them at all. The tone of the meeting was friendly: in retrospect, I'm glad I packed my committee with people who like me, and I'm glad I ended up with the time slot I did—3:00 p.m. on the Friday before Thanksgiving. Everyone seemed to be in a festive, and somewhat tired, mood—perfect for my purposes.</p>
<p>Now I just have to enter some minor revisions and formatting changes and submit it to the Graduate College. I can't believe I'm this close to not being a student anymore—a very welcome closure of a too-long chapter in my life.
</p><p>The peeled-off stars above represent all the days I spent at least some time working on the dissertation since August 2008: 347 in all.
</p><p>Since I'm not in search of an academic job, there's no immediate pressure to make the introduction into a book proposal or send out articles. So I plan to take a break from the library and try to spend my free time in ways less angst-filled and more enjoyable.
</p><p>I think there's going to be some emotional fallout at some point—"What was it all for, why did I torture myself for so long, etc."—but for now it's worth it to have finished just to have proved to myself that I could to it, that I could get a PhD.</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-60460680696510319662010-11-15T18:44:00.000-08:002010-11-16T15:51:50.692-08:00Turning It In<p>So, I turned in my dissertation to my committee at the beginning of the month and successfully completed the hoop-jumping exercise known as first deposit. I wish I could say I have been out walking on air these last couple of weeks, but I won't really feel relieved until after the defense on Friday. Or, really, until I make revisions, turn in the final deposit (deadline December 8), and it is accepted.</p>
<p>Having turned it in has made this difference in my life already, however: for the first time in two years, it is no longer my default plan to go to the library and work on the dissertation in the evenings and on weekends. I can make plans to go to a friend's house for Sunday brunch or attend an after-work yoga class or drive to Madison for the weekend without feeling guilty that I'm not doing what I'm "supposed" to be doing.</p>
<p>I really don't know how to prepare for the defense. I'm going to take the day before off work and read through it again. My advisor said to send her any questions I want her to ask, and she'll try to ask them. That way there will be some questions for which I have answers prepared in advance.</p><p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYaKFIrwe8LFsepapkP3oqPTiEoC0K3SOLuTCbIrcrvx8FtWBqT7dqinPcSmv9vo5smu-72SYV74sWT-FjN9F7XSWYdvrjGJl07v30dBfLnrty6X4N26PK7OWQRDPVDhBR43x5vPPHiZ0/s1600/photo.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYaKFIrwe8LFsepapkP3oqPTiEoC0K3SOLuTCbIrcrvx8FtWBqT7dqinPcSmv9vo5smu-72SYV74sWT-FjN9F7XSWYdvrjGJl07v30dBfLnrty6X4N26PK7OWQRDPVDhBR43x5vPPHiZ0/s400/photo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539984908925419010" border="0" /></a></p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-53189562971505788612010-10-06T19:52:00.000-07:002010-10-06T20:02:28.829-07:00A Sign<p>A couple of weeks ago, I opened a random literary magazine and the first piece was a collection of aphorisms. The first aphorism was, "If you can't take the first step, take the second step." I took that as a sign that I should go ahead and schedule my defense even though my dissertation isn't, strictly speaking, done yet.
</p><p>Now the defense is scheduled—for November 19—and I'm busily finishing up the World's Shortest Conclusion and trying to educate myself on all the university's formatting requirements.
</p><p>Every time I get another step closer to being done, I feel amazing! A nice change from despair—much more motivating.</p>
<p>The only thing I foresee being a problem (well, not the <span style="font-style: italic;">only</span> thing, but a major thing) is that I still don't <span style="font-style: italic;">like</span> my dissertation. I hate to be negative, but...it's really the last thing in the world I would want to "defend." Some faking of confidence might be in order. </p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-69052089675251124462010-09-25T14:41:00.001-07:002010-09-25T14:45:34.166-07:00Tiny High-Five<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEHS9DLjvJldWDFpoHKdMlIPqSfbzzITBcmbMsrqq9MQLQSh5WPCdlJluhd0Z472Z8STUZGQwPwIC9UvZh2A8lCsyu0wv4QcI86mzGvi_A_IB2Nz7ZHQcFQ8gLvwR5rqzIpDeMfzv1lvg/s1600/photo-7.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEHS9DLjvJldWDFpoHKdMlIPqSfbzzITBcmbMsrqq9MQLQSh5WPCdlJluhd0Z472Z8STUZGQwPwIC9UvZh2A8lCsyu0wv4QcI86mzGvi_A_IB2Nz7ZHQcFQ8gLvwR5rqzIpDeMfzv1lvg/s400/photo-7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5520969522954353026" border="0" /></a><p>I've been given the go-ahead to schedule my defense, even though my advisor confessed to not having had time to read my whole dissertation (she read the intro). Which means that there will be vast swaths of the diss that <span style="font-weight: bold;">no one</span> on my committee has read. This makes me somewhat nervous. On the other hand, she also assured me that no one ever fails one's defense. The worst that can happen is two hours of unpleasantness, followed by a demand for revisions. At this point, I say, "Bring it on!"
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-59346155561714568992010-09-12T10:23:00.000-07:002010-09-12T10:32:38.797-07:00Waiting<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWcRoLd3ELYnpiE_VGiFUgka5n7uyB62bdkzv7yZCWShn-2HlE76giI5PCQVGdbxdgt_zTWqxjoGQbnfQfGE7hYRP6vh0wvXrHbkKzfPmiQDiorVDrym9AnVwUk7N1Zc7QJRy-qW5suxQ/s1600/photo-4.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWcRoLd3ELYnpiE_VGiFUgka5n7uyB62bdkzv7yZCWShn-2HlE76giI5PCQVGdbxdgt_zTWqxjoGQbnfQfGE7hYRP6vh0wvXrHbkKzfPmiQDiorVDrym9AnVwUk7N1Zc7QJRy-qW5suxQ/s400/photo-4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5516078956122360434" border="0" /></a>
<p>After another big push in August, I turned in a draft of my dissertation, sans conclusion, at the beginning of September, and have not yet heard back from my advisor. I fear she has bad news—i.e., that it's in no shape to defend anytime soon. Or maybe she just hasn't read all 186 pages yet—can't blame her for that.
<p>I meant to spend the time waiting working on my conclusion, but somehow I've limited my dissertation work to checking my e-mail frequently to see if she's written.flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-77399727559193606222010-08-06T13:26:00.001-07:002010-08-06T13:33:13.720-07:00The Power of Denial<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRKe6OO8E8JjAaqirceSbRhbSrKNGYtaTDEV_FkIpalK7IP-tiVJyq9yDy6n0N0W_CPvEdAuSvzOkPQJJYojUkThhv1dGK3rc0gb7ysuSkGCldgeZYIcMLrt9w4KWUOwUJIDW32yLVGus/s1600/photo-1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRKe6OO8E8JjAaqirceSbRhbSrKNGYtaTDEV_FkIpalK7IP-tiVJyq9yDy6n0N0W_CPvEdAuSvzOkPQJJYojUkThhv1dGK3rc0gb7ysuSkGCldgeZYIcMLrt9w4KWUOwUJIDW32yLVGus/s400/photo-1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502395989352302242" border="0" /></a><p>I'm working (somewhat) steadily again, but way too slowly. And now it's August and I'm supposed to get my dissertation advisor a complete draft of the diss in two weeks. I am not working fast enough to get that done (I've edited the Intro, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2, but I still need to get through Chapters 3 and 4, which not only need editing, but also about ten extra pages of content apiece). And yet it has to get done. I absolutely have to defend this semester. I love when Plan A is impossible and yet there is no Plan B.
</p><p>Plan A! Plan A! Plan A!
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-38950664578868138682010-07-02T14:37:00.001-07:002010-07-02T14:43:09.385-07:00Back At It<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin4FDiqaOavi6TWfDkmDj8Ik7T94-tDYoLSQqOK7xDWzmfkShU8LDII7WO9dacbqbi6CfOSxGSMiY7skgNheR3ZcqtHh-xyKIdaXSR4qr2Wm4KgY2UeCdQ9UlzQuw24iSr_eyENv93ElE/s1600/IMG_0016.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin4FDiqaOavi6TWfDkmDj8Ik7T94-tDYoLSQqOK7xDWzmfkShU8LDII7WO9dacbqbi6CfOSxGSMiY7skgNheR3ZcqtHh-xyKIdaXSR4qr2Wm4KgY2UeCdQ9UlzQuw24iSr_eyENv93ElE/s400/IMG_0016.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489426469824495730" border="0" /></a><p>Sorry to leave that last post hanging for so long, while you wondered if I had perhaps dropped out of society. But since I wrote that post I have been slowly getting back into a schedule of working on the dissertation. Progress is being made...slowly.flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-81710705688809328842010-06-19T09:38:00.001-07:002010-06-19T09:41:58.858-07:00Dormant<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDTwRLIVO0GoggroGZe0xZUJ302YdzZLEPiSGf-u6-MamHTFHpAJ-9PPUIeNhoStL_BQstZuQpx_6PYMzrvzbJd877zO7PgK3qsZjzrLWjZzUHt9tG7hYKockYAOO6bjWROQeA680Gbug/s1600/IMG_2178.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDTwRLIVO0GoggroGZe0xZUJ302YdzZLEPiSGf-u6-MamHTFHpAJ-9PPUIeNhoStL_BQstZuQpx_6PYMzrvzbJd877zO7PgK3qsZjzrLWjZzUHt9tG7hYKockYAOO6bjWROQeA680Gbug/s400/IMG_2178.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484525183448648898" border="0" /></a> <p>Something came up and I've barely worked on my dissertation for the last two and a half months. Now I'm sitting here in my library study carrel, wondering how to get back into it or if it's even possible.</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-4802316640872731562010-04-18T15:59:00.000-07:002010-04-18T16:05:37.769-07:00March Report<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1mD6qQQEFftQGviV6oP8XWBNsqucuxqsiZ3I_8saOpX5JxOtumsjIX85PT64lydqN9sVa4PdRO62cbLkFvKqWe5XcLfWt5z6SqKgOP_-e_ZjEvQvJyCP0IrN2UvMlcHmTxk1rIR5PiMI/s1600/IMG_2138.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1mD6qQQEFftQGviV6oP8XWBNsqucuxqsiZ3I_8saOpX5JxOtumsjIX85PT64lydqN9sVa4PdRO62cbLkFvKqWe5XcLfWt5z6SqKgOP_-e_ZjEvQvJyCP0IrN2UvMlcHmTxk1rIR5PiMI/s400/IMG_2138.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5461615968430615474" border="0" /></a><p>I worked pretty steadily in March, getting chapter 4 ready to turn in to my committee member who knows the most about chapter 4. Then I took the first two weeks of April off because of a five-day business trip and the lead-up thereto and catch-up thereafter. The kicker about this business trip is that even though it is FOR work, it puts me behind IN my work.</p>
<p>Today I went to the library for the first time since early April. To say my head is not in dissertation-land is the understatement of the year.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-65631801944075072332010-03-01T19:37:00.000-08:002010-03-01T19:48:48.635-08:00February Report<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkdCLP8gn_gG1txVS745o7Y1vs7tJdt4eZ1_RWWAttJDf2A46DP5r1wN4oNAF6WjqmyZQvK2DDHgToRNuR899_SfWSjuAImCoGg4W4V38wHFWhLFiVa8LmFMJeDLxqHHQK3KheDhikvk8/s1600-h/photo(3).jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkdCLP8gn_gG1txVS745o7Y1vs7tJdt4eZ1_RWWAttJDf2A46DP5r1wN4oNAF6WjqmyZQvK2DDHgToRNuR899_SfWSjuAImCoGg4W4V38wHFWhLFiVa8LmFMJeDLxqHHQK3KheDhikvk8/s400/photo(3).jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443875553415920914" border="0" /></a><p>Oh yes, I'm still working on my dissertation. In fact I had quite a streak going—spending at least a little time every day working on it at the library—until the 28th of February, when I took a Mr. Flossie–mandated day off. (Perhaps he thought I was getting a little too obsessive.)
</p><p>Result: an introduction that makes a lot more sense.
</p><p>In other news, I met with my advisor on Friday, and she told me I can either defend during the last week of April, or not until September—she has a house in Canada and plans to be there for the next six months, barring a trip home in April. This was crushing, because in my head, the perfect defense time would be in early June, or at the soonest mid-May. It's hard to imagine waiting until September to have all this behind me, but it is also hard to imagine getting everything done by the end of the month (when my committee would have to have the whole dissertation in hand to have time to read it by April).
</p><p>However, despite my disappointment at this turn of events, it's starting to seem like the dissertation may get done—whether sooner or later—and that is very, very good.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-47517453420362973362010-01-31T13:30:00.000-08:002010-01-31T13:32:23.805-08:00Back At It<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqQpkwoRt4xiMXKnspiUKXtKp-YYQMPS45bzpLfX7NBdUz3RBDEyYXMfi56-K8gK2P4u_o7zqV3ZbHPnrLUDac-WSpTie_a55G-Q5OpCXKYglbemhAI4uN3TLbRHJX8pyJgn5Tj2fQF48/s1600-h/photo(2).jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqQpkwoRt4xiMXKnspiUKXtKp-YYQMPS45bzpLfX7NBdUz3RBDEyYXMfi56-K8gK2P4u_o7zqV3ZbHPnrLUDac-WSpTie_a55G-Q5OpCXKYglbemhAI4uN3TLbRHJX8pyJgn5Tj2fQF48/s400/photo(2).jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5433019511353546850" border="0" /></a><p>(And fuck those vegan, gluten-free cookies! I've found some honey-mint chocolates that are much tastier, and still dairy/egg/gluten-free.)
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-80873904413422309952010-01-03T12:41:00.000-08:002010-01-03T13:36:41.340-08:00The Perfect (Snow) Storm<p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiYklu4vJVIRLXqznm2-xhuvoY7AeHhIeawTbLpDpycvZudi3em-hlyKGdJDKmjQtTe9jHRJaSnUW_bahOT_eBGENE3m6X56ayK3HgGBLiG4yQbhJOOX22XC6j2vSKrKoGAyVDbuYfDf0/s1600-h/IMG_2062.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiYklu4vJVIRLXqznm2-xhuvoY7AeHhIeawTbLpDpycvZudi3em-hlyKGdJDKmjQtTe9jHRJaSnUW_bahOT_eBGENE3m6X56ayK3HgGBLiG4yQbhJOOX22XC6j2vSKrKoGAyVDbuYfDf0/s400/IMG_2062.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5422630148329609970" border="0" /></a>
<p>Herewith, the contents of a sucky December:
</p><p>1. It snowed. A lot. And was cold. And dark.
</p><p>2. I met with my advisor and she told me that at the rate I'm going, it would take a miracle to graduate in May.
</p><p>3. Work got very stressful and busy.
</p><p>4. The naturopath told me I'm allergic to about 38 foods, including eggs, dairy, gluten, and legumes, and that I should immediately cut all 38 out of my diet for six weeks. After that I can have most of the 38 on a once-a-week basis, except for eggs and dairy, which I should never ever have again.
</p><p>That's it. I'll be retiring to my spot under the covers with my gluten-free vegan cookies now.</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-48316301055772127762009-11-29T21:12:00.000-08:002009-11-29T21:14:37.166-08:00Yikes<p>I visited my mom, who lives 6,500 miles away, over Thanksgiving, and she said she was booking her plane tickets for "your graduation in May."
<p>I guess that means I'd better graduate, huh?flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-70727439137490924152009-10-25T14:11:00.000-07:002009-11-15T15:26:02.568-08:00Library Weekend<p>I spent yesterday afternoon and this afternoon in the library study carrel and feel so much better. I've finally broken through the 43,000-word ceiling that had me stymied for so long. Check the meter—I'm now 74% done! (Assuming no word currently in the draft will ever have to be edited out, ha ha.)
</p><p>More than that, I've had a chance to read through the whole draft, which I'd been avoiding for ages. Reading one's own writing is so painful. But it has given me a sense of the whole that will help as I churn out the remaining 26%.
</p><p>Speaking of churn out, my latest writing strategy is to write as parodically badly, and with academic clunkiness, as possible. That helps me avoid writers' block, and amuses me to boot. <span>Warning: do not try this at home.</span>*
</p><p>* OK, maybe a warning label isn't necessary, but it does feel a bit dangerous. If you write badly, will your writing get stuck that way? But I think it's OK, as long as I go back and revise later. It's a variation of Anne LaMotte's philosophy of the "shitty first draft."
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-36583952622864198332009-10-10T08:51:00.000-07:002009-10-10T09:06:05.519-07:00This May Not Be the Best Time to Do This, But...<p>...I need to detoxify. Remember <a href="http://inthewritingroom.blogspot.com/2008/12/what-ritalin-wont-do.html">Ritalin</a>? It started making me feel too jumpy, so it had to go. While I was at it, I also quit taking Lexapro, which I've taken a minimal dose of for several years for low-grade depression and anxiety. Lexapro and Ritalin kind of worked together: the Lexapro made me sleepy and the Ritalin woke me up. Without something to balance it, the Lexapro just makes me way too sleepy.
<p>
So now I'm drug-free. Does this mean a depressed, non-productive winter is about to ensue? Oh fun.
</p><p>
I have an appointment with a naturopathic doctor in a couple of weeks. Maybe he can help me figure out some alternative remedies.
</p><p>
On a happy note, when I met with my advisor, she said that the 200-page minimum does include the bibliography, which I hadn't been counting on. She also suggested that I defend sometime in April. The definiteness of this gave me pleasant thoughts of having all this behind me, even though I'll have to bust my ass to get it ready in time.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-16450298397265226802009-09-24T23:18:00.000-07:002009-09-24T21:26:53.380-07:00Running to Stay in Place<p>Here I am in the library, on a Thursday night at 11:18 p.m. I just e-mailed my advisor 14 pages of an introduction ahead of our meeting tomorrow. Let's not talk about why it took me three months to write 14 pages (the last time I gave her something to read—a draft of chapter 4—was back in June). And let's not talk about why, even after this burst of work, my overall diss word count still stands stubbornly at 42,391, defying my plans to acheive 60K by Christmas.
</p>
<p>And let's <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> not talk about what crap the writing is—how it reads exactly like it's something churned out by rote to fill pages. Which is what it is.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-52067233241242888282009-09-16T19:18:00.000-07:002009-09-16T19:22:01.103-07:00Dissertation Quote of the Day<p>Said by our houseguest, Matt, last night: "The only good dissertation is a done dissertation."</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-58532230955640537792009-09-15T19:58:00.000-07:002009-09-15T20:24:11.963-07:00Backsliding<p>I'm supposed to have 45,000 words written by now, according to The Schedule. Instead of that, I have 42,141 words written—<span style="font-style: italic;">fewer</span> than last week. I blame the fact that I had to cut some verbiage from the introduction that was left over from my prospectus and thus <span style="font-style: italic;">way</span> vague.
</p>
<p>Still, this anti-progress is a bit...troubling. We may have to declare another Evenings in the Library Study Carrel Season of Doom like the good old days when I was studying for comps—but one hopes without the accompanying ulcer this time.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-48153072005760471342009-09-07T12:42:00.000-07:002009-09-07T12:55:53.716-07:00Quantity, Not Quality<p>I'm here at the coffee shop with Deb on Labor Day, on a dissertation date. Deb is reading phenomenology; I am blogging and doing word counts, having given up on Lukács's <span style="font-style: italic;">Theory of the Novel</span> fifteen minutes ago. I am supposed to be at 43,000 words by this week, according to the Big Schedule for Getting 60,000 Words Written by December 31, and am currently at 42,380. I'm attempting to draft the introduction, bringing in the heavy hitters of theory like Lukács. The idea is that this will help me go back and revise each chapter, bringing them into line with my overall argument—since in the process of writing the intro, I hope to <span style="font-style: italic;">arrive</span> at said argument.</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-43043289845493019342009-08-28T04:56:00.000-07:002009-08-28T05:12:48.396-07:00One Big Document, Paralysis, and the Plan<p>A few weeks ago I merged all my chapter drafts into one big Word document. Then I stared at it. How does one work on such a large document? How do you make a change on, say, page 12, if you can't remember page 74 well enough to know how your change will affect it? Paralysis ensued.
</p><p>I realize that people write these things called "books" all the time, and thus presumably have to deal with such issues, but I don't know how they do it.
</p><p>Then I did a word count. 40,000 words! That's two-thirds of what I need! Once again, arithmetic came to the rescue. I figured out that if I write just 1,000 words a week for the rest of 2009, I'll have 60,000 words—my goal length. The only catch is that when I delete existing words from the draft, I have to make up for them.
</p><p>Having come up with this brilliant plan, I did nothing for weeks, meaning I am already behind in the plan. It's not just big-document paralysis, I think—things have gotten insanely busy at work (I had to go the office last Saturday! and Sunday!), but there is a glimmer of hope that work will calm down soon and I can implement The Plan.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-30317917764197021222009-08-08T15:10:00.001-07:002009-08-08T15:28:44.932-07:00Study Nook<p>We have an extra bedroom that I call my office, but in reality it has always been the room-sized equivalent of a junk drawer. The desk in there was really more decorative than functional:</p>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCfIy0oWkstAH7oPoJr99LSm5-NY3v1bFm4L85MZ25j5X4noJ0PAUAD93cEnn-nKrUPGAQP7yirtDiY50P7JpfVqMeLJxYj-wE_apSvnh391yax5q9lVZzZGJ4RqCgKH3SjrxrPakjGQ/s1600-h/P1010758_2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJCfIy0oWkstAH7oPoJr99LSm5-NY3v1bFm4L85MZ25j5X4noJ0PAUAD93cEnn-nKrUPGAQP7yirtDiY50P7JpfVqMeLJxYj-wE_apSvnh391yax5q9lVZzZGJ4RqCgKH3SjrxrPakjGQ/s400/P1010758_2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367719488043491826" border="0" /></a><p>I loved all the drawers, but it didn't have much leg room, and so it happened that I never once, in four years, sat down and worked at this desk. Enter one trip to IKEA plus one day of assembling, polyurethaning, and cursing:</p>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Nlzx7BIb8a44dBo0tT6uP_gqT6wkil-FL3e0xiVv6eapw1L_glrGRQCr6zsdvhzroHPd8pDjim8IFenKqh9rafm7HWe1gc1M1lryEboqYsH8ACCE8wOfax41Hjqa2gGcCOmsCskC-c0/s1600-h/photo(2).jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Nlzx7BIb8a44dBo0tT6uP_gqT6wkil-FL3e0xiVv6eapw1L_glrGRQCr6zsdvhzroHPd8pDjim8IFenKqh9rafm7HWe1gc1M1lryEboqYsH8ACCE8wOfax41Hjqa2gGcCOmsCskC-c0/s400/photo(2).jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5367720693879620658" border="0" /></a><p>A functional desk! I actually worked at it today. I think Heidi likes it better too.</p>
<p>As far as how the actual diss is going, as opposed to its associated furniture, July was the month of the Dissertation Seminar. I feel like I thought a lot about Dissertation-Related Issues, but didn't make much progress on paper. Now it's August and the library has reduced hours, so I can't spend a lot of time in my study carrel. But now I have a sweet new work space at home!</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-54719554111001533932009-07-07T15:21:00.000-07:002009-07-07T17:48:55.882-07:00Is It Drafty in Here?<p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT4q-bJGv9YjotITE34Pg32luBtgQ6JUYlNP9HRYffMHOmWu5cCzSQlaer1xPnPx3PpN8COaX-SCtYhBKDYfhpi7qXzogYdYMn8Ghc6GcKGpginj94i-WaqQ6N1__UubQbc3MswtqenZg/s1600-h/IMG_1079.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT4q-bJGv9YjotITE34Pg32luBtgQ6JUYlNP9HRYffMHOmWu5cCzSQlaer1xPnPx3PpN8COaX-SCtYhBKDYfhpi7qXzogYdYMn8Ghc6GcKGpginj94i-WaqQ6N1__UubQbc3MswtqenZg/s400/IMG_1079.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353249369440113042" border="0" /></a></p><p>It was nice having the deadline of the beginning of the dissertation seminar to get a draft of chapter 4 done. I even got a little extra time to work on it because I was too wimpy to volunteer to put it up for workshop first. Over the Fourth of July weekend I attacked it again, and now it's 25 pages long.</p>
<p>Does having a draft of all four chapters mean I can say I have a draft of the dissertation done??</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3136484837880254135.post-25096484018239751122009-06-01T18:37:00.000-07:002009-06-01T18:41:54.009-07:00May-be, Maybe Not<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKlzpgAnNnMuJYHd4Uoa9m0NKNhObujifqOi4yoBd8r4TfseNIEi41CMFnXh1SHgZI6YSNmki9da0sT5by_9qjnayPHQebgG6oqaxQ2LZwDQkldZjrkFm8NOsJOc0AVWV1ose2bd2je0Y/s1600-h/IMG_0071.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKlzpgAnNnMuJYHd4Uoa9m0NKNhObujifqOi4yoBd8r4TfseNIEi41CMFnXh1SHgZI6YSNmki9da0sT5by_9qjnayPHQebgG6oqaxQ2LZwDQkldZjrkFm8NOsJOc0AVWV1ose2bd2je0Y/s400/IMG_0071.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342538576120167234" border="0" /></a>
<p>Ah, May. I was so happy to get back to the library—and then was immediately felled by a two-week long sinus infection. My body doesn't want to do this dissertation any more than I do.
</p><p>
Now I have to crank out something resembling Chapter 4 before my summer dissertation seminar begins June 23.
</p>flossiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08499097642851821455noreply@blogger.com0