Judgment Reserved

I have this shrink who may be a little cautious. For example, I thought that lorazepam, which I take for flight anxiety, was the most dangerously addictive drug on the planet because she was very reluctant to prescribe it. She would ask me how many flights I had coming up. Then I later found out that friends of mine have unlimited prescriptions for lorazepam from their regular doctors, to take for sleep, anxiety, and what have you.

So I suspected Dr. Shrink might not want to prescribe me stimulants, the drug of choice for ADD. In fact, she did require a note from the specialist, which I brought, and even then she wanted to increase my antidepressant dose instead. Luckily, the specialist had told me that women are more likely to be prescribed antidepressants for ADD than men, because the cultural assumption is that they are depressed, it's all in their head, etc.

So I was full of feminist indignation and thus able to say, "You know, I'd really rather try a stimulant." And so she prescribed me Ritalin. I took it for a few days and didn't notice any difference, and when I went on the Web I discovered she had prescribed me an amount that is a fifth of the usual dosage. And now I have to wait six weeks for my next appointment to see her again and wrest a higher dosage out of her (and feel like a junkie).

Meanwhile, anti-drug Mr. Flossie is all like, "You should take responsibility for your own productivity." So Saturday and Sunday I spent several hours at coffee shops, my new favorite place to write. The Writing Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day lady suggests a goal of writing 1000 words a day, but as I discovered, that's hard! I wrote perhaps 300 words each day and then pooped out.

However, if I could continue to write 300 words a day, I would call that a success.